When I look at my marriage, because that is what I have to bring and compare to this class, I think Elder Christiansen’s quote is perfect. I look at the times that my marriage is smooth and it is when we aren’t pinpricking each other. But the times when it can be bumpy or we have a disagreement, it tends to start from some sort of pinpricking. I would definitely say this is something to watch for in the future in my relationship with my spouse. When we look at the positive in someone, we are going to be happier than when we look at the negative.
I really like the idea of the love maps and I have never really heard of it before. I think it is vital to use in a successful relationship and it is something I plan on talking ot my husband about and using it to make my marriage even better than it already is.
This week I decided to work on overlooking the faults of my husband. I love him dearly and think the world of him, but sometimes I feel that he needs to pay more attention to the details. He often overlooks them and it bothers me.
This week as I tried to overlook his faults, I felt that I didn’t complain as much about the things that he was or wasn’t doing. I truly felt that as I tried to be “ok” with the things he was doing that I was happier and it made our relationship better. We didn’t argue as much as we might normal do and we laughed more than usual, so we were laughing all the time.
I think of my husband’s example and how he works really hard to forgive me for my faults and how happy he always is, but I have always struggled with it. After I realized that doing this has helped me have a better attitude, I can definitely see the positives of not pinpricking every little thing that he does, even if it bothers me a lot. I want to make it a goal to always look at the positive and not focus on the negative.
I also tried this with my father. My husband and I moved in with my dad back in August and there have been times that we have struggled to get along with my dad because he does some things that bug us. We have tried out best to ignore it, but haven’t done a good job. This week we made a concerted effort to not let his actions bother us and I can already see the benefits and how the spirit is stronger in our house than it is when we don’t get along with my dad.
I am going to do everything I can to not pinprick when people do things that bother me. Not only will it benefit my relationship with that person, but it will also benefit my attitude and make me a happier person.
The reading this week was very interesting to me. I think one of the things that stuck out to me the most was when Gottman eluded to marriages needing conflict. I look at my relationship with my husband and think about the conflicts that we have had in our relationship. Even though the disagreements are annoying, I can definitely see how those conflicts have made us stronger and have helped our friendship grow.
My husband and I started out as friends and our relationship grew from there. Once we were friends we were comfortable together. Then we started dating. We dated for one and a half years and really got to know each other. I feel that because we took the time to really understand and know about each other we gained a stronger friendship than a lot of couples that didn’t date or court as long as we did.
I don’t want people to think that it isn’t possible to have a strong relationship when you dated a short time, but in my own experience it was a huge blessing to have been great friends for almost 2 years before we got married. It has helped our marriage really grow and be strengthened.
All of the preparation material this week was amazing! I really learned everything that I read and looked for ways to apply it in my own marriage.
After 2 1/2 years of being married, I feel that I barely know anything about marriage and how to be successful in it. But after reading Elder Hafen’s talk I really feel that my marriage is as strong as it is because we have lived one key principle from his talk. He said that in a covenant marriage couples give 100%. I feel that both my husband and I try our hardest to make our marriage work. We aren’t perfect, but we always strive to keep the other person in our thoughts and support them in their actions.
From the talk by President Benson, we definitely have seen many blessings related to the things he mentioned at the end of the talk. When we go to the temple together we always have a strong bond and feel our relationship grow. The temple is definitely a place to help strengthen and grow a marriage. Another thing from the talk that I really liked is where he talked about doing service in the temple. As a couple when we do service we seem to be in a lot better mood and enjoy the Spirit as it attends us during our times of service.
The last thing that really stuck out to me was when Elder Bendar talked about spending time with your significant other and how we often times can take away from the most important time of the day by planning other menial activities. I think it is so important to have time every day devoted to getting to know your spouse. Not just who they are, but what they are and what they are trying to do to better their life. As we do this we will be blessed with stronger marriages.
I hope everyone has a great week.